Tuesday, September 8, 2009
New blog address
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Mothers, Daughters, Fashion & Finance
A bebe photo shoot flashed in the background and Thriller played non-stop as mothers and daughters from around the country gathered at the Viceroy Hotel in Santa Monica this past weekend for IMI’s Fashion and Finance Retreat.
I’m no fashionista, but we’re always looking for ways to make the practice of financial fluency entertaining. Since fashion drives so much of the economy it’s a great way to give girls an alternative to the more typical experience of fashion consumer and it offers the two generations common ground to explore economic values, career possibilities, and the financial issues that get avoided or worse, create ruptures in family relationships.
In field trips outside the hotel, the girls met with a buyer at Fred Segal’s (he left a finance career post-9/11 they were told, to follow his passion) and got a briefing on the new Sensa system driving perfume sales at Sephora. They toured the Otis School of Design and had lunch at the Ivy (director Oliver Stone was on the terrace but the girls were too young to be impressed by the old guy). They met with fashion journalists, investors, and entrepreneurs. But it’s the stuff you can’t schedule that often has the most impact—and I’ll carry two memories in my head for a long time.
The first was a round table in which four fashion pros—two from the business side and two from the creative—shared their stories. An executive from Guess, told the girls that “fashion is glamorous, but most of my life is algebra and exel sheets!” Another said, “the field is so competitive you have to bring your ‘A Game’ all the time, or you won’t make it.” They all spoke of ‘paying dues’, working hard, long hours, and the invisible physical demands of the field (late nights, unglamorous warehouses, etc.). I watched the rapt faces of the girls (and the worried faces of the moms) and finally asked, “Given how tough this field is, “Why would these girls consider any aspect of it as a profession?—Or even an investment?”
Though the panelists were in different businesses and each had different roles, they all looked at me with pity. “Because you have to work hard in all professions,” they said in various ways, “why not work in a field you love?” In theory of course, I agree. I love my work and work like a fool (according to my friends). But the reality of their industry (fickle markets, changing trends, long hours, the need for ever more advanced degrees, etc.) was sobering. So I turned to the young women present—privileged all—and asked if they felt discouraged by the stories they were hearing. “No,” was their collective response. In varying ways each felt encouraged, emboldened, full of hope that they could persevere and make it in the fashion world.
I admit; I was impressed. Many adults remember getting ‘practice’ in hard work through summer jobs. In contrast, today’s teens go to camp, enjoy cool summer programs and travel with the family. Boring summer jobs, not so much. One wonders how the next generation will handle the ‘shock’ of first jobs and the arduous nature of the workplace, regardless of industry. But those young women were hungry, ready, undaunted. It’s hard to know the impact of a single, immersive weekend experience. But I sensed they each of the girls in attendance would work out her own path—would somehow find a way to make her mark.
But it’s the second memory that trumped the 24/7 Michael Jackson sound track ripping through the hotel speakers: mothers and daughters sharing moments so powerful they are indelibly imprinted--for the mother/daughter pairs as well as those of us running the program. Let me be clear--eye rolling and mom dissing happened over the course of the weekend. But so did real conversation. A meeting with an investment advisor prompted a conversation about voice and power and intelligence. As moms encouraged their daughters to trust their instincts and not abdicate their good sense to experts who promise to ‘take care of things’, daughters listened. And as mothers shared their own stories of financial discovery and personal independence, the younger generation could hear—in the company of peers—as opposed to the intensity of the family kitchen.
I was worried the mother/daughter design might not work. So we scheduled plenty of time for the generations to be on their own. But I was wrong. Multi-generational education works. The mix was good and we’ll repeat it. Look for a Finance and Food Program a well as another Fashion and Finance Weekend. Financial fluency is a family affair.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Grad Gifts
If you’re still agonizing over what to give your niece, your best friend’s son or your own grandkids or child, consider gifts that will have lasting meaning and stand out for their creativity—in an era when sending the right message to the next generation has become much more important…
- To encourage that next generation philanthropist, sign them up for a subscription to Good Magazine (http://www.good.is/). Put a copy of the magazine in a box with a check to be used to make a contribution to a cause of their choice.
- The grad longing for a new car might be happy with a new Smart Car –and will spend less money on maintenance, while establishing them as green leaders as they enter –or leave college—not a bad combination. http://www.smartcarofamerica.com/
- And Zipcars now live on over 100 college campuses. (www.zipcar.com) Give the grad a membership to zipcar. All the convenience with none of the hassle.
- A gift certificate to fund a Kiva.org entrepreneur makes a difference and introduces social enterprise. Available in $25 increments http://www.kiva.org/app.php?page=gift&action=giftpromotion
- For the aspiring engineer, give a gift certificate to be used on http://motoredbikes.com/ He/she will be able to buy/build a motored bike that will get about 130 miles/gal. of gas to get around campus. Or fr the fashion plate who doesn’t want to do self assembly, How about a fully assembled Trek Bike (www.trekbikes.com/us/en/ with or without the Trek vacation to go with it (http://www.trektravel.com/).
- And if the independent trip to China or Europe was last year’s great graduation gift, how about a family vacation with Habitat for Humanity? Even if that young grad grumbles a bit, it is a week no family member will ever forget. http://www.habitat.org/
- If you aren’t a hammer wielding family, consider a family tour with poet David Whyte (http://www.davidwhyte.com/tours.html). Storytelling is the art of passing legacy from one generation to the next. As a poet, Whyte inspires appreciation for that lost art.
- Watches used to be traditional and appropriate gifts for grads, but today’s wired generation use cell phones to tell time. If our grad is expected to pay their own cell phone bill, you might provide a month’s subsidy.
- An on-line subscription to the Wall Street Journal may seem very boring to June’s seniors. But come Sept., they will seem very cool/worldly to their friends. And if they read an article every now and they, they might even absorb some useful information.
- Pearls were so timeless. But today’s environmentally sensitive grads may have a new POV about harvesting the sea’s pearl oysters. For these kids, consider sustainable pearls. http://fairtradejewellers.com/pearls/
- And at the risk of being a little self serving, consider the perfect mother/daughter gift: Independent Means’ Fashion and Finance, June 26-28, This weekend retreat in Santa Monica, Ca is a great introduction to financial intelligence using fashion as the vehicle. www.independentmeans.com or 805-965-0475 for more information.
Whatever you give this season, give from the heart—and give a message that will stand the test of time.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Buy A Summer Internship?
Sue Shellenbarger, writing for the NYT, recently described a growing trend in buying internships for teens. She writes about how, In a tight market with limited employment opportunities for young people, families who can afford to are using services which promise to place students in 'meaningful learning experiences.'
One parent reportedspending $8000 on an internship. Her daughter Megan Sommers had applied for 25 summer internships and hadn't received any replies. While at first reluctant, the Sommers family decided to use an placement service and report "they are glad they did." Megan took an internship with a sports-memorabilia company, and, according to her mother, has 'come out of her shell. It really made her grow as an individual." Megan agrees, saying the internship helped focus her post-graduation plans.
Is this the solution for your teen? If you can afford it, why not? You may even be able to use 529 funds to pay for it, depending on the criteria for education described in your plan. It's an option.
But there are unintended consequences of purchasing an internship. Most parents share the intention to encourage exploration and tenacity, to nurture initiative. An internship is meant to hone life skills as much as it’s a chance for exotic experience. So if your high school or college student applied to 25 internships and didn't get any responses, what would you do? More importantly, what would you expect them to do?
Alternatives to Plunking Down $8 Grand.
1. Analyze Actions. Megan Sommers said she applied to 25 internships and got no responses. At this point, her parents had a teaching moment and missed it. What would you say to a child for whom repeating the same action 25 times brings no good outcome?
a) __Don't worry baby, I can buy you one.
b) __Maybe it's time for a new approach. Let's review those applications and the process you used.
Every successful person knows that failure is just a door to learning. Review those applications with your son or daughter. How strong were they? Encourage them to make follow up calls to find out what distinguished the winning applications. Did they do their homework before applying? What did they know about the position? Had they gathered recommendations and supporting material to make a case for them self?
The competition is fierce. Teens are vying with laid-off adults for part-time, full-time, even volunteer jobs that can lead to a paying position. If you want kids to understand the difference between bringing their "A-game' and 'letting someone else take care of it' this is the moment. Megan's parents could well afford to take care of things for her, so they did: a perfectly loving and generous thing to do. But they sacrificed the teachable moment. Self-advocacy, self-evaluation, and tenacity are important life skills. Helping kids master them early is a rarer gift than 'taking care of things.'
2. Clarify purpose. Internships should be fun and engaging, but they’re also vehicles for gaining skills and experience, earning references, and expanding social networks. And the level of competition that even the best and the brightest face today means that adult mentors need to help kids focus on the less exotic benefits of a good internship.
3. Open up your social networks. Why tap new networks when the ones you have may be safer and more bountiful in terms of opportunity? Access to your networks is a legitimate gift to your children--it is part of the legacy you've created for them--and the networks they create for themselves are fresh additions to yours. Blind application to 25 programs is never going to be as effective as targeting one's own network to offer free labor in exchange for a great learning experience. For example:
o You have a friend who owns a chain of retail sports shops. She may not have an inclination to put an inexperienced teen in sales, but you can introduce your son/daughter and ask her to explore possibilities for 'free labor.' Coach your kids to go in with a plan. And offer an internship in exchange. Families who open up their networks to other kids will have no problem placing their own.
o Your brother is a professor at a local college. Ask him to take a free research assistant for the summer. Nepotism is favoritism based on relationship, not competence. Giving kids and opportunity to prove themselves is not nepotism. It's good mentoring.
o If your son/daughter have their eye on a vague/specific goals (art, writing, the environment, etc.) help them create a proposal related to those interests. Again, they may not secure a paid position right aay, but a well structured job for a friend or colleague will offer experience that pays off in a good reference and/or new insight into their goals.
4. Help them focus. Kids may resist seeking a job or internship because they genuinely have no idea who they are yet/what they want to do. Create forced choices. For example, if you know that Susan has passing curiosity about children, art, soccer and animation, give her a four-square chart and ask her to choose: Child Development; The Arts; Sports; Animation. Helping kids think in macro, rather than micro-terms gives them room to explore and open opportunities to them.
5. Encourage, Don't Do. Self-created safety nets, resourcefulness, self-sustaining lives: these are skills the 21st century child needs. The future of work--no matter the level of privilege-is increasingly about knowledge and self-sufficiency. And even if you have the good fortune to create a powerful safety net for your kids, young people who have the skills to build safety nets of their own will be less vulnerable than kids accustomed to being bailed out of everything from paying their own credit card bills to mailing their college applications and securing their own summer internship.
The Passive Child.
Some families will choose to buy an internship because this level of involvement with teens is just too much effort--and the teachable moment is felt as a burden instead of a gift. But what if your teen simply refuses to be involved in her/his own destiny? What if they refuse to take no part in the creation of a summer plan?
The passive child is not a helpless child--they may be hampered by fear, anxiety, or entitlement. And they are frequently operating in their own short-term worst interests. So don't be too quick to buy them out of their challenges--you may rob them of exquisite opportunity.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
If the Children in the White House...
- "If the children in the White House have to...manage an allowance, you can too." Do I know that Sasha and Malia are managing an allowance? No. Will I be surprised to learn they are--or will be? No. But whether they do or not, this is an opportunity to reinforce values like 'living within our means;' stewardship; saving; and generosity. Consider creating a en economic mission statement for the family--one your kids can help shape and learn to live by. Leverage is an important business; one that kids can learn early on--but the pit-falls of being 'over-leveraged' is a concept kids need to understand well before they leave for college. Over the last few months, I've been intrigued (and worried) with how often, when asked, teens will tell me that the current economic melt-down has nothing to do with them.' No doubt their parents are trying to protect them from anxiety. But these children may be missing one of the most important teaching moment of their young lives. Letting kids think that a decline in the family next egg, no matter how 'relative' has 'nothing to do with them' is dishonest. Allowing them to be part of family financial strategy and solutions: rebuilding assets, re-ordering financial priorities, saving, and philanthropy, is one way to teach stewardship and responsibility.
- "If the children in the White House had to wait a whole year to get a puppy, you can wait to (fill in the blank)..." This is a chance to strengthen children's capacity for delayed gratification--and the notion of earning something important (besides just money.) The Obama girls put up with a lot: their Dad's non-stop travel; limits on behavior because 'so many people are watching,' safety issues; lectures about what is OK to say out loud and what not...Good behavior, in service of family goals is not just important to public officials. It can be a family ethic that has pay-off for children, family, and community.
- "If the children in the White House have to do their homework...." Living in the nation's most historic house, with access to the Library of Congress and the National Archives is arguably an educational advantage. But not much actually. Exposure is key. Exposure to ideas, places, people, and points of view. Homework is intended (one hopes) as mere busywork, but as an experience to help kids master skills and knowledge, And children who have the privilege of travel and access (to people, places, experiences) can be encouraged to transcend tourism and entertainment for something more akin to the great odyssey the Obama girls have begun. Use every destination as a learning experience; seek out places and people who will reinforce and deepen lessons learned at school. Encourage children to see homework as a threshold to adventure, not just an odious exercise in power and control.
- "If the children in the White House have to live with a curfew..." Every child who chafes under the constrictions of time and supervision might be asked to live a week under the hyper-cautious eye of the Secret Service. The next time the issue of curfew comes up, offer to provide a free-lancing agent as a companion for to late night entertainment!
- Yeah, but THEY get invitations to Hannah Montana parties;
- Yeah but, THEY get to hang out in the Lincoln bedroom:
- Yeah but, THEY get to ride in a private jet ALL the time...
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Christmas on Bainbridge Island
Thursday, November 20, 2008
TurkeyQuest—An Ambivalent Journey.
We’re traditionalists to greater and lesser degrees so with the exception of the year we tried turducken (to mixed reviews), classic turkey is the centerpiece of the meal. But we’re experimental when it comes to preparation. We’ve done brined and no brine (brined is better); smoked and roasted (no deep frying, yet). The bird has been stuffed with apples and sage gathered on a hike; quinoa and organic figs from Farmer’s Market; wild rice and artichokes, pomegranates and cranberries and we’ve tried all manner of marinades. We pick Meyer lemons from our host’s tree to make lemon pie. And the emails flying back and forth as we plan the meal are almost as satisfying as morning in the kitchen on Thanksgiving Day.
This year we decided to try a Heritage Turkey. If you’ve been down this road you’ll recognize the journey, but for the uninitiated, Heritage Turkeys are ancestors of the industrial breed of turkey that make up 99.99% of supermarket turkeys sold today. Heritage breeds were developed in the U.S. and Europe over hundreds of years. Standard Bronze, Bourbon Red, Jersey Buff, Slate, Black Spanish, Narragansett and White Holland—are all Heritage breeds. And because these lucky birds dine on fresh grass and insects and get plenty of exercise they’re known for rich tasting meat, more flavorful than the mass-produced large-breasted turkeys of today. (Fair warning: no hyped up hormones means less meat on the bird. Not a bad trade-off, but worth planning for when you buy a bird.)
We knew from the experience of friends that reserving a turkey was crucial (limited supply, increasing demand), so on September 21 I sent an email to Joan, our host and designated procurer, listing two websites offering Heritage turkeys locally:
o http://www.localharvest.org/farms
o http://www.marysturkeys.com/storelocations3.htm
Unfortunately, Joan discovered that by late September there were no Heritage Turkeys left in Southern California. None. Period. This was a setback. We strive to ‘eat local’ and a turkey delivered by Big Brown wasn’t part of the plan. But Beth, who had inspired us to ‘go Heritage’ this year, visited the Serious Eats website (www.seriouseats.com) and found some out of state sources. “Next year,” we vowed, “we’ll order in July.”
Finally, on Sept. 29, Joan reported that, “We got one. He’s grazing in a verdant meadow (I saw the photo) in Kansas at the Good Shepherd farm where they've been raising the same turkeys since the 18th century.” Beth emailed back: “Shall we send him (her) pictures of ourselves so he gets to know us before he comes to dinner…or rather, for dinner? Hope these last days are happy ones.” (Frank was dubious, ‘The 18th century, really? Would that be Cheyenne or Sioux?”)
We laughed. The adventure was part of this year’s story. But suddenly it was impossible for me to think of our turkey as anything other than a real strutting Tom, no longer a mere featherless thing delivered in a box packed with dry ice for travel.
I’m a flexitarian, not yet committed to life as a strict vegetarian, but not as cavalier an omnivore as I used to be. A tasty rib or a perfectly prepared filet is more like an exotic vacation now than a routine trip downtown. Haunted by the knowledge of hungry people lining up at ever longer food bank lines here in the US and fighting over bits of bread in the Sudan, I am forced to consider all arguments—moral, environmental, economic, political—against eating meat and specifically against eating a turkey I have now ‘met’. Here he is in fact, on that Kansas farm, fattening himself up for us. I have misgivings.
And yet, come Nov. 22, I will relish our Tom—feeling guilt and gratitude in equal measure. I am loathe to give up the comfort of a traditional Thanksgiving dinner, the fragrances of childhood, tastes evoking deep memories. When I was a child, my father, grandfather and uncles hunted-- for food, not sport. A deer in the fall provided venison all winter. I didn’t, then, feel any moral discomfort when I ate my grandmother’s mincemeat pie, rich with the meat of the deer, at our Thanksgiving meal. Nor did I give thought to the knowledge that the Tom on the table had been recently executed by my grandmother (we didn’t buy Heritage then, we just nabbed the guy out in the yard—who knew?).
It is only now, in a different time, with a deeper awareness of what sustainability means that I weigh my personal pleasure against the larger needs of the planet. Nobel Prize winner Murray Gell-Mann describes sustainable practices as “living on nature’s income, not it’s principal.” There is something that feels right about that vision. I am uncomfortably aware of what effect the indulgence of my omnivorous pleasure has on land use and water policies—and oh yeah, the life of that turkey. Clearly I am conflicted. Still…give up turkey? Maybe next year. Maybe next year we’ll try tufurkey. I’ll let you know.
MEYER LEMON PIE:
Here’s the recipe for our lemon pie. There’s no ambivalence with this (unless you insist on no dairy. I grew up on a dairy farm. The eggs, butter, cream and milk are staying. My karma may be at risk, but not the cheese soufflĂ©.) We pull the lemons from trees in the backyard and the eggs come from the layers living in my friend Joan’s chicken condo (really, it is so much nicer than the coop on my grandparents farm—and that was not a bad place for a barnyard chicken). Note: You don’t absolutely HAVE to use Meyer lemons, but you will taste the difference when you do.
Ingredients:
o Pre-baked pie crust (this can be done a day before if you like. See directions below).
o Pie filling:
o 1-2-1 cup Meyer lemon juice (7-10 lemons)
o 1/3 cup cornstarch.
o 1/2
o 3 to 4 eggs (3 of they’re large)
o 1 cup whipping cream
Grate 2 tsp. lemon zest from lemons, set aside. Squeeze lemons for juice—you want 1/2-1C depending on how intense you like your lemon.
In the top of a double boiler put: 1/3 C. cornstarch; 1/2. C sugar (I actually like a little
less then this—maybe ¼ C. and a Tablespoon); and the juice. Stir over the simmering water in the double boiler until mixture is thick and shiny.
In a separate bowl whisk the eggs to blend. Add ½ cup of the of lemon juice to blended eggs. Then return to egg mixture in the double boiler and stir until very thick (about 5 minutes.)
Remove pan from boiler and place in a bowl of ice to cool. Stir mixture.
Whip cream until stiff. Fold into cooled lemon mixture. Spread in pie crust and cool in refrigerator at least two hours. No topping needed—it is simple and elegant.
o Pie Crust: You can buy a pre-baked crust. But your guests will be knocked out if you
make your own—and it is so easy it’s embarrassing:
o Sift 1 1/2 C flour, 1T baking powder, 1/2 tsp. salt in a bowl.
o Add 1/3 c. of cold butter and 1/3 C cold Crisco (or 2/3 c. lard) and cut into the flour mixture with two knives or a flour cutter until small bits.
o Add 4-6 T ice water. Mix quickly and shape into a ball with your hands.
o Put the dough in the refrigerator for 20 minutes. Roll out and place in a pie plate.
o Bake at 425 for about 12 minutes or until golden brown. (Don’t forget to add pastry weights to keep the dough from bubbling up!)
Set aside until cool and ready to welcome the pie mixture. Indulge. But if you must know: 361 calories per serving; 4.6 grams protein; 19 grams of fat; 15 grams of carbs.
For comments and questions, email jolinegodfrey1@mac.com
